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Day 43

I have decided to buy a house in Sicily, for summers away, for a writing and thinking retreat. We are nowhere near wealthy, but the homes cost almost nothing as they are in need of renovation. I will take my husband there in March, and we will look at some options.

Of course this is a ridiculous idea. We don't even own a house or apartment in the United States; why buy a summer home like we can afford to frolic back and forth across the sea for sun-bathing?

But there is something which feels perfectly sane about the idea, and I cling to that. I keep thinking that there are bigger things for me in this world, if I can only work hard enough, if I can only stay focused. It's so difficult to stay focused! If you want everything, you will have nothing. I must learn to suffer productively (sacrifice) for the few things that I must do, sacrifice without compromising my health or family.

Today, I am sick with a sore throat and stuffy nose, so I suppose I will (try to) sleep and pray for a swift recovery.


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